I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize