so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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