I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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