do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Randomize
