He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize