Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
