Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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