Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
