she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
