Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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