Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Farmville is her only friend.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
