i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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