Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
