if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
