garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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