i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
