Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
