How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize