She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
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