question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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