you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
