The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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