He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
my poor anus
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
