I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
