yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
