what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
