I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I love you. Go after that dick
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
