yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
