I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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