Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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