my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
