You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize