I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
