why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
