pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
