he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Blood and glitter go together right?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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