ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
