there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
