somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
