You're my little dorito
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
