His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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