well you can't waste a boner
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
