$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize