Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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