im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
