im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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