What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
