I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
