i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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