Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
