Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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