everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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