Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
