You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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