You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There r osticjed everywhere
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
