Im at strip club and am horny
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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