Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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