maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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