I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize