your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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