In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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