Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
