Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
