I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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