I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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