i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
