508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
