Buhtt sex?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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