we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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