I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
