It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
My vagina is very pro this idea
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
