I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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