i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize