Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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