So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
